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How to Prepare for Anal Sex
Erika Lust | April 25, 2024 | 7 minutes
Things you need to know about anal sex but you’re too afraid to ask
Have you heard about the benefits of anal sex and would like to experience them? Do you want to practice it, but you don’t know how to tell your partner? Don’t worry, the same happens to almost all of us at first. We are going to help you get started with anal sex and teach you how to make it enjoyable for both partners. Unfortunately, anal sex is still taboo. Our purpose is to open your mind so you can see it as any other sexual practice and get to enjoy it.
Learn more with our anal sex guide presented by Anastasia Brokelyn
Anal sex doesn’t have to be painful and can be very pleasurable!
The first step is to ask for it. Would you know how to do it? Read more in our guide on How to make consent sexy. If you’ve never tried anal sex, there are some important tips to keep in mind before you go all in! Keep on reading to learn how to make anal play pain-free and pleasurable regardless of your gender.
What is Anal Sex?
Anal sex is the act of penetrating someone’s anus, with a penis or a strap-on. As everyone has an anus, all genders can have anal sex.
The anal area of your body has nerve endings that, when stimulated, can produce a lot of pleasure.
Also, if you have a penis, through the anus you can stimulate your prostate, which can give you a very intense orgasm!
How to Clean up for Anal Sex
Some people prefer an enema (anal douche) before anal sex because it feels more comfortable and can prevent unwanted sensations (and surprises). An enema or douching is a technique where liquids are introduced into the rectum through the anus.
Don’t forget that sex always involves bodily fluids and some people may be nervous about getting “messy.” The same goes for anal sex—try to create a comfortable environment by talking to your partner and setting clear expectations.
Putting down a towel, wearing latex gloves, or cleaning as you go are all great ways to get comfortable.
When it comes to butt play, preparation is also an important part of sexual hygiene. This can be as simple as using warm water and a washcloth to clean the external areas of the anus. You can read more about pre and post-sex hygiene habits in Sexual Health 101: Sex Hygiene Habits for Vulva and Penis .
How to Prepare for Anal Sex?
First of all, communication is key! Make sure you talk to your partner about what you are comfortable with trying and discuss how you will prepare together. Keep talking and checking in throughout the whole process, and make sure you’re on the same page about what you are comfortable with before you begin.
Take a shower and clean the area but avoid enemas and remember things can get a little messy with anal sex.
You will need lube, lube, and more lube! Oh, and did I say LUBE?
The anus and rectum do not secrete fluids that facilitate penetration, which is why lubrication is essential in anal sex. Make sure you have lots of lube handy and use it liberally throughout! The use of water-based lubricants is recommended to avoid affecting condom quality.
The lubricant is used before penetration with an erect penis or sex toy, and in the anus. It is recommended to slowly introduce a finger or the tip of the penis or sex toy, to gradually and progressively widen this part of the human body.
Initial penetration should be slow to allow the anal muscles to relax and thus avoid fissures.
Here are 3 of the best anal lubes you can find right now, picked from a mix of expert recommendations and customer reviews.
Water-based HANX Lubricant is feeling itself. Non-sticky, non-staining, and completely free of chemicals, it’s the perfect accompaniment to going solo or entertaining company. All 50ml are safe to use when you’re on a mission to conceive, and unlike oil-based lubes, it’s safe to use with condoms, too. Did we mention it’s vegan?
This Lubricant is down for whatever: oral, anal, and vaginal sex—less friction, more fun. Bonus, vagina owners: its pH balanced to be as close to the real thing as possible. Super gentle, super versatile, and guaranteed not to cause irritation: we have to stan.
This product is 100% free of DEA, gluten, glycerin, glycol, parabens, PEG, propylene glycol, sorbitol, and sulfates. It is also 100% vegan-friendly, non-toxic, and hypoallergenic. Uniquely blended to emulate your body’s own natural lubrication
A 100% natural, hydrating lubricant that is compatible with devices and condoms. Its hydrating formula enhances natural moisture, relieving personal dryness. The gentle, PH-balanced formula is free from glycerin and parabens and manufactured to the ideal osmolality for the body. This formula is latex-free.
How to Have Anal Sex?
If it’s your first time, it will be important to control the rhythm of penetration. The walls of the anus are not as flexible or dilated as the vulva, so the movements must be more delicate. In this sense, communication is essential. If you feel pain during penetration, communicate with your partner(s) to slow down.
You might want to start with some anal play on your own before trying it with a partner. Stimulate the area before penetration, start with a finger, or two, or a small toy to get used to the sensation. Once you are ready to start with your partner make sure to use lots of lube and don’t rush it! Start with foreplay stimulating the area around the anus and go slowly.
You can do it at your own pace, without pressure and without pain, always with the area previously well cleaned and using lubricant. This way, you’ll get to experience anal pleasure at your own pace and get ready for the next step!
Keep in mind it may feel a little strange at first and you will most likely feel like you’re going to poop, this is normal. Be prepared for a little mess but never go from anal sex to vaginal sex without cleaning the penis first. If you want to switch things up hop in the shower quickly or have some baby wipes handy to clean before you move on to vaginal sex.If something doesn’t feel right, speak up, and slow down or stop.
Need a Visual? Watch This Free Video Guide!
Check out Daisy Ducati’s The Lust Ed Explicit Guide to Anal Sex. In this free video, adult film performer and anal sexpert Daisy Ducati explains how to make anal play pain-free and pleasurable regardless of your gender. You will learn how to get to know what’s between your cheeks, how to prepare for anal sex correctly, how to minimise the risk of mess, anatomy & hygiene, lubes & anal sex toys, stretching practices and more!
What Does Anal Sex Feel Like?
So what makes anal sex feel so good? For those with a penis, anal stimulates the prostate (P-Spot), but even if you don’t have a prostate, anal sex can still be incredibly pleasurable due to all the nerve endings in and around the anus that everyone has. For those with a vulva, anal can enhance the pleasure of vaginal/clitoral stimulation. Ever heard of the A-spot? This is a highly erotic pleasure spot along the vaginal wall that can be indirectly stimulated via the anus.
Bottom line, pun intended, anal sex can be as good as any other kind of sex.
Do you need more inspiration?
Tommy Cabrio & Anastasia Brokelyn star in this XConfessions anal sex movie, TWERK. a powerful film about liberation!